The long awaited MSTing of chapter 2 of Persona!

Wooo!

Once again, written by August in a state of madness.

Disclaimer: I still don't own any characters except August. The Port-O-Closet belongs to Rachel Sith Chick. However, I now own Pokémon Gold and 48 prismacolor markers. That is all.

Rating: I forgot to put a rating on the last chapter, and for that I’m sorry to all you poor innocents whose virgin ears were soiled by my evil words. This chapter is worse. So, just for the language, I’m giving this a rating of R. a mild R. No real violence. Seriously! Read it!

Summary: Things go from bad to worse, August actually apologizes for something, Spike snaps, Endril is a computer whiz, two new characters are added, and Tengu cries like a little girl.

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Once again, everyone was yelling at August. This time, however, it was because they had walked out of the theater after chapter one, and were suddenly on a giant satellite. August was weeping at the complete and utter shameless imitation of Mystery Science Theater. Endril was weeping because she'd never get to meet Alan Rickman. Spike wasn't weeping, but he was pretty upset that he couldn't find any TVs. Tengu was trying to break as much stuff as possible.

“Cant we just try to calm down?” asked August after a while. She figured she would probably make some robots later to be her friends, since there was no way off the satellite.

“No, we can’t calm down, because we’re stuck on a bloody satellite! Arghh!!!” with that, Spike began bashing his head into a wall. “It’s not fair!!!”

“You know, August, “ Endril piped up. “I can’t help but get the feeling that this is all your fault somehow.”

“Yeah..” said Tengu suspiciously. “This all happened because you’ve been reading all those SOD fanfics by Jamielee again! I say we vote August off the Satellite!!”

“Whoa, hey! I didn’t do anything! If this has truly happened to us in order to imitate the SOD, then it’s the author’s fault, not mine!”

“But you ARE the author!” Spike wailed.

“No I’m NOT! I’m just a character based on her Internet personality!”

“Oh, yeah, like that’s any excuse.” Said Tengu bitterly. Suddenly, a loud beeping noise came from a computer console nearby. Endril pushed a button.

“Uh, guys, I think you should see this…” she said warily.  On the screen were, surprisingly, Ash, Misty, and Brock.

“We’ve sent you here because we don’t like the way you made fun of us in chapter one.” Ash declared. “You will stay here for all eternity, along with all the other people who have wronged us.”

“So…does that mean Team Rocket will be joining us?” Endril asked hopefully.

All three twerps got sheepish expressions.

“They kind of escaped..” Misty explained. Just then, August got an idea.

“Hey! This really reminds me of that one episode in Saffron city!” the four prisoners were abuzz with excitement.

“Quick! Check for warp tiles!”

“I found one! Right by the theater door!”

“Why isn’t it working?!”

“Ha! We disabled it after you fools exited the theater. You really are stuck here.”

“But what did we ever do to you?” Endril asked.

”You made fun of us!” Misty said. “And you called me a lesbian!”

“I’m sorry,” mumbled August sadly.

“Hey, what’s with her?” Ash asked. August gave a stirring explanation.

“The Author just watched Anatomy of a Hate Crime, and she feels really bad for the way she acted in chapter one. So now all tasteless homosexual jokes will be ended.”  Everyone was in tears after the speech, but Ash soon recovered, having so few brain cells.

“It doesn’t matter! We’re still keeping you here, no matter what! “

“So…can you send us more people who you hate, then?”

“After you read chapter two! Now get to the theater!”

“Jeez, what a grouch.” Spike muttered as they filed in wearily.

Poképersonalities

All: yay.

Ch. 2 It develops

Tengu: The story goes through puberty.

Jessie glared at her partner. "What are you doing?" she said irritably.

Spike: (James) hitting on you, silly!
James fumbled through his pockets. "Trying to find my wallet." he explained briefly. He waved a hand at the road ahead of them. "I wanna buy something from that old lady."

August: a-HA! I TOLD you she was old!!
Jessie peered at the figure, standing at the side of the road. "From her?" she asked incredulously.

Endril: the old woman obviously couldn’t dress, and wasn’t worth buying from.

"Do you know her or something?"
"Aha!" James pulled his wallet out of his back pocket.

Tengu: how hard is it to find a wallet?

 "No. I just want to do her a favor, I guess."

August and Endril: Awww!
Jessie sighed. "James, think for a minute! We don't even have a dime to call our own, let alone to give to some strange beggar woman."

Spike: Ah, the Pokéworld in the Depression era.

August: now I’m depressed. This is boring.
"Yeah, put ya wallet away!" Meowth cried, walking at the two's heels.

Tengu: Ah, a Jersey accent, how nice….and BORING!
Peering into the wallet, James sighed. "Oh yeah." Sadly, he stuffed the empty billfold back into his pocket.

Endril: this IS sad. James is so stupid, he forgot he was broke.

August: It’s from getting whacked with a mallet so much.
"Pardon me." The voice was warm and friendly. They had reached the woman.

Spike: Really? I hadn’t noticed, thank you for informing us with useless detail!
Jessie scoffed. "Sorry, but we're just as broke as you." She continued down the road.

August: (Jessie) Twice as broke, even!

Tengu: (Jessie) Talk to the hand!
The old woman was unfazed. "But I don't have anything to sell." she explained patiently.

Endril: this is so repetitive…

Spike: So it’s just chapter one, except with Team Rocket?

Endril: Essentially.
"Then why are you wasting our time?"

Tengu: (Jessie) We’ve got Pokémon to get beat by! Cliffs to fall off of!
The old woman dipped a hand into a large pocket.

Endril: Much like that of a kangaroo.

"I have a gift for you." She smiled again.

August: she sure likes smiling.
Jessie crossed her arms. "Oh, please! Like I'd believe a complete stranger would give something away to another compete stranger, just like that. Let's go, James. We've got better things to do." She started off again.

Spike: well, at least someone in this story is in character.

August: yes, let us all be thankful.
After a few steps, she realized that her partner wasn't following her. Whirling around, she found James staring at her beseechingly, still standing next to the woman.

Endril: and whimpering like a small puppy.

Tengu: (James) hmm. Mean Jessie, or nice old lady with presents? Decisions, decisions…
"Come on, James!"
The young man looked down unhappily. "Please, Jessie." he murmured.

August: Awww….

 Looking at the beggar woman almost yearningly,

All: O_o*

he lightly touched the pendant that she was holding out. "Can't we take it?"

Spike: (James) I promise I’ll take care of it! Honest!
The young woman sighed. Storming up to the other woman, she snatched the necklace from her hand. "What is this thing?" she cried, peering at the amulet. It was ivory,

Endril: Save the Elephants!!!

 hanging on a blood red, silken cord.

Spike: Blood red? I’m starved.

The girl squinted at the carvings on the stone. "I can't even tell what it is!"

Tengu: that’s just because she doesn’t have Misty’s awesome mind powers.

Others: *snicker*

 Scoffing, she handed it back to the woman.
The woman shook her head gravely. "Don't be so quick to speak. You may regret it in the future."

All: Ooh, foreboding.

 She nodded at the pendant. "Look closer."

Endril: can we say, Lion King?

Spike: Disney moment number two! This is sick! (He gets his rifle and shoots out the fanfic screen.)

August: great, you moron! Now the screen’s broken!

Tengu: Let’s go take a break.

(they all rush out)

***********************************

“Well, by the way this fic is going, we’re probably going to die of boredom within a week.” Tengu said sadly.

“I wonder when we’ll get new people…” said Endril.

“Maybe they’ll have food!”

“Yeah!”

“Uh, guys?” Spike interrupted. “If you all end up killing each other, can I have your blood?”

“BAKA!” August screamed, whacking him with a paper fan she pulled out of nowhere. “You’re not eating anyone! And we are NOT going to die! We will find a way to get out of this!”

“Oh, thank you, fearless leader.” Said Tengu in a monotone. “Whatever would we do without you.”

“Listen, I’ve had just about enough of your attitude, Tengu. You’re not helping the situation.”

“Well, maybe we’re in this situation because the ditsy teenage girl put herself in charge.”

At this point, Endril and Spike decided to head for cover, as Endril knew how August could go into a raging fury at any given moment. Spike, having been beaten up by a teenage girl (albeit a superpowered Slayer girl) on numerous occasions, didn’t want to get involved.

“I may be a girl, you loser, but I’m still far more powerful than you.” August’s voice slipped into a soft, dangerous tone.

“Powerful? I bear the powers of Mewtwo! I am the greatest being the world has ever seen. And if you don’t want to be turned into a smear on the floor, I suggest you follow my orders, little girl.”

“Am I wrong, or was that just a very stupid thing for him to say?” asked Spike. No one responded.

“I, “ said August. “am omnipresent. I’ll see your macho posturing, you self- absorbed bastard, and I’ll raise you a first class ass kicking.”

Tengu started growling angrily as his amulet glowed fiercely. August was soon encased in a bubble of psychic energy and floating three feet above the floor. Her eyes began to turn a bright red.

“Ah, but you’re forgetting something. I can give myself the powers of any Pokémon I desire. Including my favorite one.”

“Oh, I’m soooo scared.” Said Tengu. “What amulet are you going to give yourself? Maybe a cyuute widdle Jiggypuff. Or a Charizard. Oo, big surprise there.”

“That.” August said slowly, “Is where you’re wrong.” She paused, grinning, as a neon yellow amulet appeared around her neck. “Dead wrong. It’s too bad, really, that you were written before Gold and Silver came out. Then you’d know that even the great Mewtwo is weak against something.”

“And what’s that?” Tengu asked, still managing to retain a smirk despite the fact that August was beginning to disturb him. She now had the shape of a beautiful anthropomorphic black foxlike creature, with bands the color of her amulet on her ears and tail, and circles on her shoulders, legs, and forehead. August broke through the bubble with one stomp of her combat boots, and landed gracefully on the floor.

“Me. And your prissy little telekinesis ain’t effective against dark type. Say hello to your doom, Tengu. Its name is Umbreon. “

“Ummm….” Was all Tengu managed to say.

“So do ya wanna start something, Clone Boy?! Bring it!” Unfortunately, August never got a chance to whup her foe’s butt, because Tengu fainted dead away from a combination of Dark energy and ghetto vernacular. “Aw, man! I wanted to smack some sense into him! It’s not fair!”

“I’m sure you can do that some other time, dear.” Spike said cautiously.

“Hey, won’t he be pretty pissed when he wakes up?” Endril asked.

“Oh yeah. Good thing I stole a Port-O-Closet from Rachel.” She nonchalantly stuffed Tengu into the closet and locked it. “Hey, is there any way we could fix the screen? I mean, the sooner we finish reading, the sooner we can try to escape.”

“Well, “ said Endril, checking the computer.  “I don’t know if the screen can be repaired, but there should be another theater just down this hallway.”

“Ooh! Stadium seats!” Exclaimed Spike as he looked at the monitor.

“Alright! Let’s go!” they all hurried off to the second theater, leaving the closet carefully stowed out of harms way.

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Spike: Ah, back to the madness. Where were we?

August: I think they were just about to find out what the ivory amulet was.
Jessie was not one to take orders willingly, but something about the mysterious stranger compelled her to obey.

Endril: that sounds wrong somehow…

She looked at the stone again, sighing under her breath.
"It's not going to make it any--" She trailed off as the design began to work itself out. "Oh my. . ."

August: (Jessie) God! There’s  huge spider on your shoulder, lady!
"Huh? Lemme see!" Meowth leapt onto her shoulder.

Spike: nosy cats. I always preferred dogs, meself.

 Putting his face down next to Jessie's, he stared intently at the amulet. Jessie was too intent on the carvings to be annoyed.

August: she really was annoyed, but she wanted to look smart and study the carvings.
The cat's eyes widened as he studied the stone. Suddenly he gave a strangled yelp and tumbled from the girl's shoulder.

Endril: It’s Darth Vader!

August: dear god, he’s force-choking that poor cat!

 "Meee-ugh!" he cried.

Spike: Hairball.

"It's a Persian!"

August: Gasp!

Spike: My goodness!

Endril: Oh, the humanity!

 Hissing to himself, he started off down the road angrily, without waiting for the two humans.

Endril: (Meowth) I don’t know about youse guys, but I want me a Volcano Badge!

The spell was broken.

All: awww….

 Jessie straightened up. Making a small noise of indignation, she thrust the pendant into her pocket.

August: (old lady) Now I’m too slow!  Not fair!

Without a word to the woman,

Spike: (old lady) Ingrate.

she hurried after the Pokémon. "Meowth, get back here!" she cried, leaving her partner and the beggar behind.

Endril: Haven’t we already established that she’s a mysterious kind being, and not a beggar?

August: Try not to think about it.
James stared after the two disappearing members of his team. "Wait. . ." he whispered pitifully.

August: awww, he didn’t get one! That’s mean!

 He turned back to the woman. "I don't suppose. . ."

Spike: (James) I wanna pony!
The woman shook her head sadly. "No, that's all the gifts I have for you.

Spike: (old lady) you shall receive superhuman strength and fighting ability instead.

August: (James, sad) But..but I wanted some magic bracelets! Or a fan that shoots fire!

 But fear not, young one." She grasped his hands kindly. "You shall receive your own, from another, before the night is done." She smiled mysteriously,

Endril: well yeah. She is a mysterious old woman, after all.

and then, to James' surpise,

August: Typo demon!

 winked conspiratorially.

Spike: (Henry Gondorf) I almost thought you were the feds myself.

August: Awesome!!
James blinked, confused. "I don't understand."

Endril: neither do I, but I’m not complaining.
"Oh, you will, I believe." The woman smiled once more, in a way that appeared to James to be almost fond.

August: (old lady) I’ll miss those kids….

"Now, go after your friends." She pointed in the direction Meowth and Jessie had gone.

Spike: where else would she have pointed?
"My friends?" The concept was startlingly foreign to James.

August: especially since the people she calls his friends abuse him day after day.

He looked down the road. "Yeah." he finally said. "Yeah, they are my friends." He turned back to the woman. "Thank--"
She was gone.

All: Mysterious!
For a very odd reason, it didn't alarm him at all.

Endril: Terribly odd.

"Thank you." he murmured, positive the woman could hear.
The young man started off down the road.

August: (old lady, invisible) Y’all come back now, y’hear?

On to chapter three!</

Spike: but  first, a  word from our sponsor.

August: let’s go.

They all leave.

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Back outside the theater, the three of them waited impatiently for the new guests to arrive. Suddenly, with a noise much like the transporter on Star Trek, two figures materialized on the deck. The first was a young man with spiky brown hair and dark blue eyes, whom August jumped on immediately in joy. The second appeared to be a grey and white miniature lop-eared rabbit, holding a case of Baywatch tapes. Endril and Spike were frozen in pure terror. August, however, stopped cuddling a very confused (but happy) Gary Oak  just long enough to throw the rabbit into the Port-O-Closet. A few minutes later, after introductions were made, a KA-KLIK noise and muffled screams could be heard coming from it.

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Thrilling, no? I thought so. Next time, someone from real life will make a cameo, and the satellite will get DSL. Hope you all liked it. Remember, I need feedback if you want me to keep writing these things. I tell a lie. I’ll keep writing them regardless, but I’d still like to know what you all think of the story so far. Apologies to Jamielee Rocket for doing something similar to her SOD stories. They’re just too good not to want to imitate! Anywho, questions, comments, praise, and flames can be sent to me at NeoGrrl_August@hotmail.com.